THE TRI-TIP COMMISSION — Cholesterol Communism!!!
This shadowy group openly flaunts its on-the-surface seemingly-American agenda of heavy meat consumption. But The Tri-Tip Commission’s true intentions are truly nefarious, anti-American and even…they’re still here, people!…communist!
Yes, America was founded on meat, and America’s continued success depends upon meat. The raising of meat. The butchering of meat. The cooking of meat. The eating of meat. The digestion of meat. The remembrance of meat. Who doesn’t love meat? Sissies and the insane!
The Tri-Tip Commission has one of the HEROES of meat in its name. Tri-Tip is the JOHN WAYNE of meat. With such an honorable meat in its name, The Tri-Tip Commission would seem to honor meat the way meat is meant to be honored. But this is a deception. The Tri-Tip Commission does more to promote a communal lifestyle than any hippie yoga class or Wednesday Night book club.
You can see their operatives at parks across America on Sunday afternoons. You can see them in backyards. They chat “amiably” with neighbors, apparently fostering community and generating goodwill among neighbors while standing over that most-American of foodstuffs–burning, smoking meat.
What do they talk about while tending to their “barbecues”? They talk about family, friends, Jesus and football. Family! Friends! Jesus! Football! Could it be more obvious?! These are topics that are meant to be discussed in PRIVATE, with TRUSTED ASSOCIATES, away from the prying ears of AMERICA-HATERS–not out in the open, the way people talk about celebrities! Who talks about these things so openly? Only a shadowy group with nefarious intentions!
Do not let these so-called bastions-of-civic-pride destroy America and her meat in this way! Do not get taken in by their sumptuous smoke and their tasty morsels!
RESIST THE TRI-TIP COMMISSION!
